Article: The Torn Bond – How Children Love or Hate the Alienated Parent in Narcissistic Families

 

Dear Readers,

Parental alienation, particularly when driven by a narcissistic parent, is one of the most painful experiences for both the targeted parent and the child. The emotional manipulation at play in these situations can tear apart what was once a loving bond, leaving the child confused, angry, or even indifferent toward the alienated parent. The narcissistic parent knows exactly how to exploit a child’s emotions, reshaping their perceptions and ultimately weaponizing their love against the other parent.

For the alienated parent, it’s a form of slow heartbreak. Watching your child turn cold, or worse, hostile, can be unbearable. You wonder what lies they’ve been told, what false stories have been spun to drive a wedge between you and your own flesh and blood. The child, caught in the middle, often doesn’t know what to believe. In their mind, siding with the narcissistic parent feels like a form of survival—avoiding the disapproval or emotional punishment that comes from standing against a manipulator.

But here’s the truth: even amid alienation, deep down, children rarely stop loving the alienated parent. That love might be buried under layers of confusion, fear, or resentment, but it’s there, hidden in the shadows of what once was. Children who grow up in the grip of a narcissistic parent’s manipulation are often conflicted, torn between the distorted reality they’ve been fed and the memories of care and connection with the alienated parent.

Sometimes, that love resurfaces later in life, once the child breaks free from the narcissist’s influence. They may come to understand the extent of the manipulation, and the pendulum may swing back toward the alienated parent. But in other cases, the damage is so severe that the relationship never fully heals. That is the cruellest aspect of narcissistic alienation—it robs families of the chance to rebuild, leaving scars that may last a lifetime.

For the alienated parent, it’s vital to hold onto hope and remain patient. The path to repairing a fractured relationship is long, but it begins with love and understanding. No matter how much damage has been done, the connection between parent and child is not easily broken. Children, even in the most confusing of circumstances, want to be loved unconditionally. And sometimes, that love is what guides them back.

God Bless Us All...