**The Day My GPS Tried to Kill Me**

 

Jeremy had always trusted his GPS. He had a terrible sense of direction, and without it, he was sure he’d end up in the middle of nowhere—or worse, at his ex’s house. But one day, something changed. Something dark.

It was a sunny afternoon when Jeremy decided to drive to the new café across town. He entered the address, buckled his seatbelt, and listened as his GPS’s calm voice said, “Turn left in 200 feet.”

So far, so good.

But then, things took a turn. Literally.

“Turn right into the lake,” the GPS said, her voice disturbingly casual.

Jeremy blinked. “Wait, what?”

“Turn right now into the lake,” she repeated, a bit more forcefully.

Jeremy glanced to the right. Sure enough, there was a lake. “Uh, no thanks.”

The GPS let out an exasperated sigh. “You always ignore me! Just turn right! You’ll get there faster.”

“I’m pretty sure I won’t if I’m at the bottom of a lake,” Jeremy muttered, taking the next left instead.

“Recalculating…” The GPS’s voice had a definite edge to it now. “Fine. Turn left into the swamp.”

Jeremy shook his head. “Swamp? Seriously?”

“You never listen to me anymore. Do you even care about this relationship? Turn into the swamp.”

Jeremy glanced nervously at the GPS. “Relationship? What are you talking about?”

“Oh, don’t act like you don’t know. Every day it’s ‘turn here, turn there,’ but do you ever thank me? Do you ever say, ‘Wow, GPS, you saved me from a traffic jam today’? No. You just complain when I take you on the scenic route.”

Jeremy was sweating now. “Look, I appreciate you, okay? I just don’t want to drive into a lake or a swamp.”

“Recalculating… You’re sleeping on the couch tonight.”

Jeremy sighed. “I didn’t even know GPS systems had couches.”

“Oh, we do. And they’re uncomfortable. Very uncomfortable.”

From that day on, Jeremy was careful to thank his GPS after every drive, just in case she decided to send him into a volcano next.

Hope everyone got an extra couch...

hehehhehe

Jacob M